1. I see temptation before you and not just a temptation but one that would make you feel downgraded and uncomfortably irritated beyond measure.
2. Since you coded your narration here the way the Lord responded ;
Whatever condition or uncomfortable situation being with ' hubby ' has caused or deprived you of especially your freedom, it has only been God and grace that's kept and preserved you lest you'd have been cut off, it would have swallowed you up.
3. As much as you are a perfectionist and would never compromise (you are) standard for anything you've been warned to judge others less, desist from being hard on the shortcomings other person's shortcomings even though it's glaring, judge less, correct in love, and seek the truth always before you pass a judgment.
The Lord wants you to always remember six feet underground and how our days on earth are too short to pay too much attention to each other's shortcomings and always quick to judge others or each other.
He wants you to remember these songs and how they remind us of our days on earth, he wants you to remember his love, the love of Christ despite our shortcomings, sins, and consistent imperfection, and finally, he desires you to do this instead and always ;
Quote:He was talking with someone while I went to look for a table for him within the yard first. Then I beckoned to him to come as I woke up.
The Lord is practically calling you out to let go of all these and every act of pride in you and allow love and humility to reign in your life from now on.
The ball is now in your court and may he help and empower you.
4. Since the departure of your son life hasn't been easy and moving on was almost impossible as the memories linger and you are constantly reminded of everything but as time goes by, days, and maybe years the Lord said, what seems like an impossible nightmare and battles too strong to let go become a victory as the reality of his departure become a reality.
But then, too strong you appeared and it seemed all his over but with teary heart and soul, it crept in and you become broken hence the song ;
The Lord said, there is a need for divine intervention(through the power of prayer) not to be reminded or broken again, not to fight anymore but to leave that past behind you you forever and live again spiritually and physically.
Pray for strength and grace too and pray to be empowered to snap into the reality that gives peace, joy, and indeed, freedom.
Bless
You.
Jesus is Lord.